Here I got starting over from the beginning, I can't act that he was never a part of my life. I just have to move on and carry on like I was before I met him. I will not deny for any one minute that I love him. I won't tell you there isn't a place for him in my heart, because I would be lying. I can't change how I feel about him. I won't say to your face that I am jealous of the girl that is working on stealing his heart. I had to shut him out of my life for the most part. He is no longer on my Facebook or Skype. I don't want to cut him out completely so I didn't block his number even though I have considered it deeply.
I can't let him hold me back forever. I don't plan on letting him control me and him not even know it. Jealously is eating me alive, I guess simply because he has moved on and she is getting more attention than me. I am not afraid to admit it that she is better than me. He took a step up from me and when I called him to ask him he he wanted a relationship with her. The words that just rolled off his tongue, not a problem saying it. The simple "Yes, I do" killed me. That is what pushed me away the most. There are a lot of other factors that pushed me away.