Sunday, January 9, 2011

I want to live my life without fear --

Things are starting to get me to the point of being scared, stressed, and worried. We broke up that is it, you and I are over and have been since the beginning of November. If I really meant that much to you then you would have waited for me or tried harder to get me back. No, instead you get a girlfriend 3 days later and less than two months of dating you decided to ask her to marry you.

Some how though you can't seem to drop me from you life. You feel the need to still try and figure out what I am doing in my daily life without you! When you fly home for Christmas you tell me when you land in Dallas that you are going to text me when you are headed to my house, because you know I don't want to see you and I want to be able to leave the house. No, though you use it to your advantage and don't tell me. The whole break was good for me until the last 3 days you decide to show up at my house without warning, meaning I am stuck here. Little did you know I broke down crying in my room when my mom told me you were here. Out of common decency you could have told me you were coming. Oh and left your "fiance" at home where she belongs, not at my house.

Now that your back at base everything is back to normal somewhat. I can go on about my life without having to worry about you just stopping by my house. Nope, I am wrong. You continue to text me about that stupid iPod that is supposedly "yours". I bet you liked my attitude toward you "f" the iPod "f" my shirt and "f" you. That still stands I don't want anything to do with you. I wish you would say and do the same. You can't and won't though, you still feel the need to know who I am talking to and who I am trying to pursue a relationship with.

You want to know what I am doing and who with still. I have blocked you from my facebooks, e-mail, and all instant messengers. I have blocked your family, friends, and anyone that has a connection between me and you. I deleted all the mutual friends between us on my military friends facebook. I know someone some where is telling you what my statuses say. So, now I have to watch what I post on there. Just another way for you to pry into my life.

You are really beginning to scare me. It is stressing me out and you know it. You know what all this is doing to me and I do not appreciate it. I don't know why you get to me the way you do, but it is worrying me. I don't like these feelings you give me, I can't seem to escape you no matter what I do. Please just leave me alone. I would really like to live my life without the fear you getting into my life.

4 comments:

  1. Oh goodness!
    I am so sorry that you have to deal with this.

    The advice that I have for you is his chain of command. I know that may seem like it is stooping low to get him like that, but if you are scared and he is harassing you, you can call his base and report him to his Batallion Commander or Company Commander and they can help set him in the right direction. There is a fine line between being weird and emotionally abusing someone, I hope that he is not walking that line my dear.

    Thinking of you!

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  2. Damn your sexy,,,

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  3. Holy guacamole! I am so very sorry! Praying everything works out!

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  4. What makes you thing that he still trys to look at all of your stuff and if you and he have non of the same friends how could someone tell him whats going on with your page. And if he is about to be getting married then why would he want to try and keep up with you. i know i have been reading your old post and he did love you but idk what happend but yall did fall apart. and i talked to him about all of this and i know him good now and he told me what happend and everything and idk what to say but he is a good guy and that just breaks my heart to see that good guy get hurt like he did and you not say anything till you see him happy. and if you go to youtube theres a song that fits good and its the deployed love song and i know he wasnt gone but if fits really good so you should watch it and you might learn something and think about what you did to him and how fucked up it was and no he dosent look at your stuff just so you know he has no need to. thats all i got to say and ya i know you too i have been follower for a long time now and i watched all this happen and i talked to him about all of this and you cant pin it all on him he is a good guy and your making it sound like he did all of this well sis he didnt you did it all not him so you should rethink your post next time

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