Sunday, October 24, 2010

Its like a Roller Coaster --

Lately with my Marine and I things have been like a roller coaster.
After he asked me to be his wife things got great amazing,
until I started thinking and getting stressed.
I thought long and hard, very long and hard about it.
I do love the him with everything I am.
I loved my life before I met him and even more after I met him.
It has helped me discover more about myself and the inner strength I have.
We have been together for 6 months and known each other about 8.
Although I have to be reasonable and logical about it.
I do not want to rush anything and not be able to fulfill what I was asked to do.
I am 17 and he is 21.
He should be in a serious relationship and considering settling down.
I should be preparing for life on my own and having some fun.
I am in high school still while he is in the Corps pursing his career already.
I am still planning my life and what I want to do and where I want to go.
I have not any life experience of my own, because I have always had my parents leading my way or giving me that push.
I have always had someone who cared and supported me in everything and wanted to be in my life as my boyfriend.
I have to learn to live on my own and handle things on my own.
I need to experience the world so I can be a better wife.
I want to be the wife I can be, I want to make him happy.
I don't want to fail at that job.
I do not feel ready to be engaged or married.
I think it is best for both of us that I called off the engagement.
I do love him, just everything is so hard right now.
I can't handle all the stress.
I want was it best for us and I know this is what is best for me.
Its killing him and I do feel bad for that cause he doesn't understand that I am not ready.
I just don't want to hurt him worse.
Am I in the wrong or am I being reasonable and logical?


  1. I think you are being a hundred percent logical. James is 20 and I'm 16, and we were at two different places in our lives, and we never could make it work. The way you talk about Edward, I know he loves you. Take a break and a deep breath, it will be okay if it is meant to be. Just try to relax.

    There is plenty of time for you to be married once you're out of school. Go have fun, it really is fun to be a teen.

  2. Good for you for doing what you felt was best for you. At 17 you shouldn't have been in that position in the first place, you are right, you are preparing and planning for you life. Give yourself time before you commit for life, you have your whole life ahead of you, there is no need to rush things now. I think in time he will understand why, or at least understand that this was what you needed. If he really loves you, he'll stick around and you guys can talk about marriage later on. For now, just have fun and enjoy being 17!

  3. You are absolutely right. The most important thing you can do is learn to take care of yourself, support yourself and be independent before you get married. You're only 17- you have plenty of time to get married later on :)

  4. I think it was very mature of you to come to all of this and stand up for what you believe in. I am so inspired by it and sending hugs your way for support! he will respect you in the long run for being so responsible and mature!
    Good Luck.

    p.s. I left you an award on my blog!